Friday, March 9, 2012

It's back and I'm not surprised.

I’m back in that phase where I’m sulking about my ‘uncertain’ future. You know what this feels like? I feel like someone who’s of marriageable age and everyone around her is getting married and I’m this lonely cow who to begin with, doesn’t even know if she wants to get married. That said, I hope I don’t have to see such a day too.

I don’t want to hear about who’s getting admission where and who’s doing an internship in which company because I don’t give a tiny rat’s ass. I have way too much shit to deal with in my life to look into someone else’s.

Everything boils down to the fact the I don’t know what I want. I don’t know if its okay to be this way. I don’t know if its okay for a 21 year old to be this way. Even if its not, I just need to be told that it is okay. Ya, I’m asking for just that.

Is it media or investment banking or journalism or MBA in finance or MBA in marketing or advertising or what? FAAACK. I DON’T KNOW. In times like these, I wish I was born in the 50s when there weren’t so many options, when no one expected much of you, it would have been so fucking simple. But no!

Sometimes I feel useless, like I’m not cut out for anything. Do I even have the aptitude for what I want to do? Maybe not. Maybe how much ever I push myself, I won’t ever get there. And what is aptitude anyway? And what is this whole deal about hard work? 

Wow. Perfect. I think I should just dig myself waaaay below the ground and die.


I’ve noticed that whenever writer’s block strikes, the next morning life gives me something to write about. I don’t know if I should be happy in such cases that I have something to blog about or upset what about happened. 

Don’t be me and start advising me on being positive. I am an optimist and it would be great if I get your permission to be this way on some days. Thankyouverymuch.

I see Rahul Dravid reading out his retirement speech at a conference and I feel like crying. THAT IS HOW MUCH TODAY SUCKS. 


  1. you are 21. you are not supposed to know what you want.
    you are young. do anything. everything. make mistakes. fall. get up. fall again because it was fun. get up. jump into a pit. climb right back up. that is life at its best!

    go get em!

    and after every step, blog. its amazing how honestly you write.

  2. "Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year
    olds I know still don’t." - Sunscreen Song

  3. Uh. You've said it!!!
    It makes me sick!!!

  4. I feel like I'm talking to my 21-self :P :)

    And now that am just an yr older ( not any wiser ) - I'd say just pick something and go with it. Because when you ultimately start doing something , you'll realize how time you've lost already.

  5. we all have those days... am 23 and i have no fucking clue what i want ;) its just one of those days :D

  6. Crying for Rahul Dravid however dreadful from your end.. was still cute! :)