Happy 2012.

After a birthday post, ek New Years post toh banta hain :D

I'm at home this New Years.

No party.

No alcohol. 

No hogging. 

It's just me listening to music in my shorts, having maggi and enjoying every bit of the night. And that's exactly how I wanted it.

Happy 2012 world :)

Read this on Twitter --
Dear all, 2011 didn't screw up your year. You did. Also, 2012 isn't gonna make your life awesome. You're gonna have to do that yourself.

True that ;)

"She's got you high and you don't even know yet"

I just watched 500 Days of Summer for the second time and loved it even more this time. A sweet movie with lovely songs ..so beautifully shot. Almost inspiring. Watch it, if you haven't!

A few quotes I loved from the movie --

Tom: What happens if you fall in love?
Summer: Well, you don't believe that, do you?
Tom: It's love. It's not Santa Claus.

Summer: You weren't wrong, Tom. You were just wrong about me.

Summer: I woke up one morning and I just knew.
Tom: Knew what?
Summer: What I was never sure of with you.

Tom: Look, we don't have to put a label on it. That's fine. I get it. But, you know, I just... I need some consistency.
Summer: I know.
Tom: I need to know that you're not gonna wake up in the morning and feel differently.
Summer: And I can't give you that. Nobody can.

Tom: Did you ever do this, you think back on all the times you've had with someone and you just replay it in your head over and over again and you look for those first signs of trouble?

Narrator: If Tom had learned anything... it was that you can't ascribe great cosmic significance to a simple earthly event. Coincidence, that's all anything ever is, nothing more than coincidence... Tom had finally learned, there are no miracles. There's no such thing as fate, nothing is meant to be. He knew, he was sure of it now.

Tom: People should be able to say how they feel - how they really feel - not, you know, some words that some strangers put in their mouths.

Summer: There's no such thing as love, it's fantasy...

Summer: We're just friends.
Tom: No! Don't pull that with me! Kissing in the copy room? Holding hands in IKEA? Shower sex? Come on! Friends my balls!

Summer: Ok. I, like being on my own. I think relationships are messy and people’s feelings get hurt. Who needs it? We’re young, we live in one of the most beautiful cities in the world; might as well have fun while we can and, save the serious stuff for later.

Tom: People change. Feelings change. It doesn't mean that the love once shared wasn't true and real. It simply just means that sometimes when people grow, they grow apart.

I can't. Not anymore.

I wish I could dance in public places without giving a shit about what people might think and play in the mud without worrying so much about my clothes and lick the remaining chocolate off my fingers without being told that it looks disgusting and click as many pictures as possible without worrying how I look in each and every one of them and cry my ass out till I get something I badly want and eat whatever that gets my mouth watering without thinking about weight gain and not break my head over the million entrance exams I 'plan' to give. Lastly, doing justice to the tinge of drama in me, I wish I could run down spiral stairs to see my lover waiting for me. I mean, I might still be able to do that but the lover, I doubt there will be any.

..all this after going through some old photo albums. Yes, photo albums do this to me. Hmpf.

It's tough to do all this now and it's not possible for me to become a child again especially with my back problems (I'm sorry, bad one) but anyway for now, I guess have alcohol ;)

21.

Ooooh 21. Without trying to sound dramatic, I swear I remember turning 15 some time back and now 21 it is. I'm not someone who's into birthday countdowns or someone who's even remotely excited about her birthday. And when there's an exam the next day, it's as good as negligible. So ya whatever.

I can't summarize this year in one word or even one sentence. More so because I don't really remember what happened in the first half of the year. Yes, I have the memory of a goldfish like that. But anyway, it was decent, it was good actually. Had some shitty moments, had some fabulous ones too.

So, to a year of disappointments, blissful moments, failed relationships, friendships lost and regained, surprises, new connections, new people, pleasant changes, stupid mistakes, corneal injury, amazing people and also a few assholes..

Let's hope the next year is even better, filled with crazy shit and fun. I'm generally scared about what's going to come my way next year but tonight, I feel inspired and fearless and I'll just go like -- bring it on, really! ;)

And *ahem* I'm 21 and a haaynnsum, tall, funny and sensible guy would totally do wonders to this year. Yes, you who's in charge of all this, I'm talking to you. After all, "ab toh bas settle hona hain yaar!" HAHA.

Okay. So happy birthday to me ..it is?! :)

Judge me.

Have you found yourself to be happy for someone else, always? Is that supposed to happen every time for every random person who got something you always wanted?

Well, I'm not happy for XYZ. I want to be, really. And it's damn "shallow" of me to not be happy for her but hell, what about me? I can't help but compare my situation to hers. It's not jealousy. I know it's not. It's just this short lived horrible thing which I'm feeling because I'm pretty much hanging in the air at present, but she isn't. She's settled and that's something I'm yearning for right now, at this point of time in life.

Shallow shallow shallow. That's the word. Ugh.
These "why am I like this" scenes are such a pain, I tell you.
There's no feeling that even gets close to what you feel when you're at war with yourself.
I'm remembering the angel-devil cartoon right now. The angel's there somewhere and I feel the devil's taken over, pretty much.
I can even picture it.
Not pretty.

Okay I got it out of my system.
This whole blogging thing, so awesome. Whattosay!

So I was saying ..

There's no time.
When there's time, there's no mood.
When there's mood, there's nothing to write about.
Then how am I supposed to blog?

There's no happening and chauka-denewala stuff happening in my life right now.
I just find myself eating half the time and procrastinating of course.

Kill me. I actually don't have anything else to say.
Bye.

Disconnected snippets.

My nani gets tired of me and tells my mum:
"Etar beeye korede. Bodo jontrona de!" (Get her married. She keeps troubling me!)
HAHAHA. Grannies are the cutest creatures on this planet. Also 5 to 10 year old kids! After that they're kind of annoying and they need to be sent to stay in hostels. Okay, I'm just being cruel.

There was a time when I thought I was super smart, intellectual, so wise and so unlike many others my age. I was flying high in the sky for god knows what reason! And then something happened and I fell. And what a fall that was! Now I think I'm rather dumb and I often wonder how I was so ignorant to the dumb-ness that was staring at my face during that time.

Those who get the supplement, Times Life, must read that lovely article written on how everyone's just too busy chasing optimism nowadays. It talks about how there's no specific way to be. It's okay to not be an optimist always. It's all in your nature. You shouldn't force yourself and it's fine give in to your moods and tackle things your way.

Did anyone watch Dirty Picture? How pathetic was it? The concept was good but I hated the way they projected it. Excessive cleavage show in that movie almost makes you squirm in your seat after a point of time. The dialogues killed it even more. They were just trying too bloody hard.
BUT I think Vidya was just fabulous. What a bold step! And what an amazing performance!