Have you found yourself to be happy for someone else, always? Is that supposed to happen every time for every random person who got something you always wanted?
Well, I'm not happy for XYZ. I want to be, really. And it's damn "shallow" of me to not be happy for her but hell, what about me? I can't help but compare my situation to hers. It's not jealousy. I know it's not. It's just this short lived horrible thing which I'm feeling because I'm pretty much hanging in the air at present, but she isn't. She's settled and that's something I'm yearning for right now, at this point of time in life.
Shallow shallow shallow. That's the word. Ugh.
These "why am I like this" scenes are such a pain, I tell you.
There's no feeling that even gets close to what you feel when you're at war with yourself.
I'm remembering the angel-devil cartoon right now. The angel's there somewhere and I feel the devil's taken over, pretty much.
I can even picture it.
Not pretty.
Okay I got it out of my system.
This whole blogging thing, so awesome. Whattosay!
Well, I'm not happy for XYZ. I want to be, really. And it's damn "shallow" of me to not be happy for her but hell, what about me? I can't help but compare my situation to hers. It's not jealousy. I know it's not. It's just this short lived horrible thing which I'm feeling because I'm pretty much hanging in the air at present, but she isn't. She's settled and that's something I'm yearning for right now, at this point of time in life.
Shallow shallow shallow. That's the word. Ugh.
These "why am I like this" scenes are such a pain, I tell you.
There's no feeling that even gets close to what you feel when you're at war with yourself.
I'm remembering the angel-devil cartoon right now. The angel's there somewhere and I feel the devil's taken over, pretty much.
I can even picture it.
Not pretty.
Okay I got it out of my system.
This whole blogging thing, so awesome. Whattosay!
I hear ya, sistah. Ditto and all.
ReplyDeleteEnvy and jealousy are very common human failings; nothing to be apologetic about. You may be able to transcend them, perhaps, with time.
ReplyDeleteso i like this girl. to the point of loving her. yet i cant be happy for her. so that's saying a lot in itself doesn't it?
ReplyDeleteHappens. Its only human to think like that but with time and positive thinking you will be able to overcome it. The fact that you have acknowledged that fact is itself a beginning towards it.
ReplyDeleteYou are not the only one who feels like that.
ReplyDeleteYep, this whole blogging thing is indeed awesome. :)
@Atrisa: *sigh*
ReplyDelete@Syed Ali Hamid: Hmm. I somehow won't call it jealousy/envy. I'm just overly self critical. I don't know :|
@Raj: Ah, makes sense.
@Sh@s: Yes, I guess.
@Swats: Phew!
Umm...watch bridesmaids. 'Tis human to covet, everybody goes through it.
ReplyDeleteLol. I have watched it :P
ReplyDeleteLOL. Fellow movie buffs FTW!
ReplyDelete